just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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