I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
