the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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