Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Someone signed my nipple.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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