Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
sex in a hospital.. check
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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