I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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