At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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