Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize