it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize