it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
