Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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