just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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