I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You took a bar mat shot.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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