she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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