I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
