you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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