Sry I called you an 8
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
