I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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