I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
