my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize