You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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