You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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