I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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