found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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