Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
