Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
