Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize