you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
