Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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