How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize