She announced her abortion via fbk
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
