He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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