I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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