We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
