What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
