Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
