i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
