I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
