Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
