Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
