you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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