when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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