Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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