I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
