Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
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the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
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I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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