I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
