I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
