Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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