True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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