so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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