he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize