i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
