Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
