I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
