hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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