he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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