that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My dick has a subreddit
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
