even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
