Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
