My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
